We're Having a Baby!

Lent approached and I wanted it to be a time of real connection with Christ. A time when I could let God simply clean me of me. The Gospel readings spoke of the time Jesus spent in the desert being tempted by Satan. In my enthusiasm, I resolved to give up everything I didn’t need, which included candy, soda, meat, and dairy. I would fast on bread and water every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

The first Monday of Lent was Valentine’s Day. As was our tradition, Dominique and I went to a highly rated restaurant that we had never been to before. We talked about the last month of our lives, how it had been a struggle, but we both felt that our relationship was closer then ever because of it.

On Tuesday night we took a pregnancy test. It came back positive.

We took another one. It came back negative.

The next morning, after not sleeping much, we both anxiously looked at the third test at 4 in the morning. Negative. We went back to bed and there was more than a little sadness on my part.

I had always imagined myself as a father. My career was separate. Whatever I imagined my career to be, fatherhood was always a major part of that. I knew it was a responsibility greater than any I would ever have, but at the same time, there was disappointment as dawn broke that Wednesday.

My wife woke me two hours later. “It’s positive.”

I struggled back to consciousness wondering why she had taken another test. Two out of three is pretty conclusive.

“I don’t think we waited long enough. Look. The one we took earlier is positive.”

For my part, I had already convinced myself that fatherhood was going to have to wait, so I simply shrugged it off. “It probably is positive because it was out so long.” In my mind, I started to open up to the possibility again, but cautiously because I was still disappointed. When my wife came in and told me that she had started spotting and that a new cycle had begun, I actually sulked.

Imagine the disappointment. After being teased for one night, this is thrown on you. I went to work and coasted through the day, not really paying attention to anything, teaching a 6th grade religious education class, answering the phone.

“I’m pregnant.”

“What?”

“I came home and took another test. It’s positive. You need to come home now.”

In the blur that was my drive home, a thousand thoughts rushed into my head. The biggest thought was, “That was the last pregnancy test. I need to buy more.”

I walked in the door with boxes of tests under my arm. “Drink some water honey!”

Positive.

That was four out of five. We were having a baby!