A Week in Florida

We had planned a vacation to Florida the next week and left on Friday evening. Our luggage was lost. Our hotel room was not what we had requested. Through it all, I felt a responsibility. I was Joseph in Bethlehem. I was going to find the luggage and get the right room if I had to walk around Orlando to do it!

A trip to the airport solved the luggage problem and our room was changed without incident. We spent the next week hopping from one park to the next. Dominique, who usually enjoys rides and parks, was good for about five hours in the sun before we had to call it a day. Our perspective had changed as well. Granted we looked at each ride as how much fun we could get out of it, but the overall decision was, “what effect is this going to have on the baby?” We were five weeks into the pregnancy and already we were putting the baby first.

It occurred to me as we left the Magic Kingdom that my days of going on the rides I wanted to were over. That didn’t mean I wouldn’t enjoy an amusement park for the rest of my life, it just meant that I would look at everything through the eyes of my child. To be honest, there was sadness there at the loss of my ability to simply enjoy it all for me. Just as quickly, it was replaced with an expectant hope. During the day, I had noticed how excited the children around us got at the simplest thing. To us it wasn’t much but to them it was the most amazing moment they had ever experienced!

The next time we visit the Magic Kingdom, it would become a renewal of our childhood, our own rebirth.

The Angel Appeared to Joseph...

I prayed like I had never prayed before. For the baby. For Dominique. I enrolled us in every baby newsletter on the internet. I bought prenatal vitamins like they were a commodity. I couldn’t sleep. I was so excited that I couldn’t even think straight. Then it occurred to me.

I can really screw this up.

I wouldn’t be the worst father in the world, but I had seen too many teens injured by their relationships with their fathers in my work as a youth minister. I could never do that to my son or daughter. Or could I? How many other fathers start out with the right intentions? How many other fathers start out thinking that they are going to do things better than any other father on the planet? How was I different?

I started working with my door shut. I couldn’t talk to anyone because I might actually blab about this thing before we were ready to talk about it. The whole time I prayed.

Then I remembered the off-handed comment I had made a month earlier. God was preparing us for something huge. Then it occurred to me. Our mutual act of self-sacrifice was the most concrete act of love we had displayed in our marriage. We had lived the law of the gift in our own lives and it had borne fruit!

Telling the Families

The first day is a matter of shock. You are telling family, but the reality of the situation is a far off matter that may occur in 40 weeks or less. Family screams, laughs, toasts, cries, and prays. You start to wonder if it is real.

Dom’s mom Roseann came over to check the pregnancy tests before visiting her mother in the nursing home. “Yep, you’re pregnant!”

Then we called my parents. It is funny how this kind of news takes a while to sink in over the phone. Cynthia had absolutely no belief that we were telling the truth, then finally admitted that she had been on her knees in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Dad let out a joyful, “Holy cow!”

A call to Margot brought on, “You better not be joking because Kyle does this to me all the time!”

Justin was tired, but very happy for us.

Kyle (with Teresa screaming in the background): “You bastards! You got the bonus in the will!” (First grandchild for both families)

Brendan: “IT WORKS!” (Brynn yells her congratulations)

Then we went to the Tabones. Standing in the middle of the dining room we broke the news. Angelo softened right up and with the biggest smile hugged his little sister, “My little sister’s having a baby!?” Manny gave his daughter a huge hug and a kiss and shook hands with the future father. Roseann smiled the biggest smile I have ever seen and opened a bottle of wine to toast. Bobby had a huge smile and gave us a huge hug.

We're Having a Baby!

Lent approached and I wanted it to be a time of real connection with Christ. A time when I could let God simply clean me of me. The Gospel readings spoke of the time Jesus spent in the desert being tempted by Satan. In my enthusiasm, I resolved to give up everything I didn’t need, which included candy, soda, meat, and dairy. I would fast on bread and water every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

The first Monday of Lent was Valentine’s Day. As was our tradition, Dominique and I went to a highly rated restaurant that we had never been to before. We talked about the last month of our lives, how it had been a struggle, but we both felt that our relationship was closer then ever because of it.

On Tuesday night we took a pregnancy test. It came back positive.

We took another one. It came back negative.

The next morning, after not sleeping much, we both anxiously looked at the third test at 4 in the morning. Negative. We went back to bed and there was more than a little sadness on my part.

I had always imagined myself as a father. My career was separate. Whatever I imagined my career to be, fatherhood was always a major part of that. I knew it was a responsibility greater than any I would ever have, but at the same time, there was disappointment as dawn broke that Wednesday.

My wife woke me two hours later. “It’s positive.”

I struggled back to consciousness wondering why she had taken another test. Two out of three is pretty conclusive.

“I don’t think we waited long enough. Look. The one we took earlier is positive.”

For my part, I had already convinced myself that fatherhood was going to have to wait, so I simply shrugged it off. “It probably is positive because it was out so long.” In my mind, I started to open up to the possibility again, but cautiously because I was still disappointed. When my wife came in and told me that she had started spotting and that a new cycle had begun, I actually sulked.

Imagine the disappointment. After being teased for one night, this is thrown on you. I went to work and coasted through the day, not really paying attention to anything, teaching a 6th grade religious education class, answering the phone.

“I’m pregnant.”

“What?”

“I came home and took another test. It’s positive. You need to come home now.”

In the blur that was my drive home, a thousand thoughts rushed into my head. The biggest thought was, “That was the last pregnancy test. I need to buy more.”

I walked in the door with boxes of tests under my arm. “Drink some water honey!”

Positive.

That was four out of five. We were having a baby!